Someone shit on the floor
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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