Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
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