i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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