i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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