So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I have fence marks all over my body
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
