smell my finger.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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