Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
