Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
