It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize