he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
