Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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