She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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