dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
