i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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