I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
