is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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