I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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