her vagine was all disorganized.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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