so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
