Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
