so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
