At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
