He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Randomize
