i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
