I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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