worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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