You really coming over, don't trick.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I party with great urgency now.
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