So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
