You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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