i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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