I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
