Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
