then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
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