can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
