My hair reeks of homosexuality.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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