We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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