ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
no, he came in my armpit
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
