youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
