Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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