As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
