Princesses don't give blow jobs
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
