3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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