Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
