You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
