with your own penis?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
