I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
