you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Randomize
