Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
