no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
