If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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