Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It's official drugs can't kill me
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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