Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
