I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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