He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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