I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
