I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
