Sponge bath it is.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
